Lost

I go to the pier, but am too late
Metres away but beyond reach
The ferry churns waters between us
creating a void of understanding.

I try to look wider,
but the glistening blue of sky and water
reflect back isolation
and drown out my senses.

An endless loop plays back
fragments of conversations
I still don’t understand

I try to cry, shout, scream
but find no tears
just a profound emptiness
that weighs heavily in the thin air.

I wonder.
Did I let the boat go
or was it always going to go without me?